More Doping Allegations in Cycling (parody)

30 07 2007

From a good friend who recently visited Colorado for a ‘friendly’ mt. bike trip:

LOS ANGELES, CA. AP — CYCLIST CAUGHT NOT DOPING. EXCUSES FOLLOW.
Intermittently infamous local cyclist, Matt Flanzer, can add his name as the latest to be caught up in international doping turmoil surrounding the sport of cycling. Specifically on a recent trip to Crested Butte, Colorado, Flanzer tested positive for a disturbing lack of testosterone in his system. Quoting friends of the accused, he is said to be actively seeking out anyone willing to give him a transfusion or access to any sort of performance enhancing drugs for future trips above 9000′. Los Angeles Times reporter, Heywood J. Bleauxme, caught up with Flanzer at his Venice Beach home where the sometimes artist confessed outright:
“Yes,” the Times quotes Flanzer, “it’s true. I did not dope. I would have liked to, but I just didn’t know where to score the drugs. My local corner dealers had never heard of EPO.” In light of recent dramatic events in international cycling, Flanzer’s comments have resonated across the sport as both extremely confusing and idiotic. First-time Tour de France champion, Alberto Contador, was asked about the ordeal and has responded: “Who?”

flanzeratbeach.jpg

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One response

1 08 2007
bolderinboulder

i’m with Alberto…

Who?

great post!

thanks for my daily smile!

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